Dealing with Folx.

People who have no intention of actually helping just should not offer to help.

I'm steaming right now about so much: Nadya Suleman and these Angels in Waiting scam artists, my own life, etc. It seems to me that so many people who offer to assist are doing so with very malevolent intentions or, at best, with a multitude of pre-conditions. "I'll help you, but" does not, to me, translate into real help. First, let's examine this whole Nadya Suleman thing.

A single mother with 6 kids who is very clearly pro-life, refuses to destroy her frozen embryos, choosing instead to have them implanted. Oops. All 6 of them took. Uh oh! 2 split. 6+8=14. The problem? Well, you see, she's single, a student who lives with her mom. Then they go and interview her. Right after she's released from the hospital, right after she gives birth, even though her babies are still in the hospital. Yeah. Who in the world would be lucid at that point? I was in the hospital for 4 days after giving birth to my 1 child, who came home with me. If you had interviewed me within the three days after I came home I assure you I woulda sounded completely insane: 1) My mom and sister hated me and were trying to kill me by starvation. 2) My child looked like Mr. Magoo and was, therefore, blind (didn't help that he wouldn't open his eyes!). 3) I was in excruciating pain, refused to take any painkillers (because I could do this!), couldn't figure out how to nurse, refused my mom's help (because I should be able to do this!), insisted that my son would sleep in the Arms Reach, even though I couldn't sit up or bend over to put him in or get him out of it...refused my mom's help (because if I can't do this, I'm not a mom). 4) I was convinced (really, until my child was 4 months or so) that everyone who saw him wanted to take him, including my Mom and Sister who were IN MY HOUSE at the time. Imagine what that would've looked like on the Today show! Anyway, back to Ms. Suleman.... after she's interviewed postpartum, and everyone decides she's mentally ill, the declarations of judgment pour out of people's (and mostly people who, for the most part, think just like her; you're pro-life, what should she have done with those embryos?) hearts and mouths. Then come the offers for "help". Gloria Allred and Linda Conforti offer Ms. Suleman and her family a home with round the clock nursing care. Sounds GREAT, right? Except that the day before that offer, Allred filed a claim with Cali's CPS to do an investigation and take Suleman's children from her. And, well, there's the whole, "Linda Conforti is a Foster Care provider cloaked in the guise of a charity" thing. See this blog: http://thehollytree.blogspot.com/2009/02/how-did-gloria-allred-get-involved-with.html. So, it's not really HELP, per se. Is it? It's more like, let us continue to exploit you and your children. More than that: You've got all these kids, you're single. Let us help. Let us take your kids because, as we all know, the best thing for a child is to be taken from their home and put in the hands of the state - carte blanche - and, well, to be honest, that's the only way the taxpayers won't end up paying for their upbringing. Right. Or, more apt: HUH!?

Okay. On to me. I need help. I'm 2000 miles from my closest family member and I'm struggling. I don't try to hide that and I have no problem admitting it. And, up until now, I take all offers of assistance because I NEED HELP. Okay. So, one offer was pretty much, "We'll help but only if you move into a tiny little apartment next door to us otherwise, you're on your own." Because 30mins away is just doing way too much. It's pretty damned amazing to me how people decide what it is a single mother needs and how their version of assistance is actually the best thing for them. I had one offer to help me get child support from my Baby Daddy. One offer to provide me and my Baby Daddy with relationship counseling. RIGHT. I don't HAVE one of those.

But I still need help. Nadya Suleman needs help. If the assistance you're offering to provide is not led by the true needs of the person but you judgmental and arbitrary ignorant assumption, well, shove it.

End of Rant. Going to Pack. I'm moving. Afterall, I need help. What better place to find it than close to family?