Loving it!

Furloughed, a four day weekend. Thrilled to be in it but dreading what the check at the end of the month will look like.
I'm supposed to be finishing up a paper on Black Intellectuals. That's why Salahaldin is at his grandmother's house, playing with her dog and with his aunt. But I'm taking these few moments of freedom to clean house, to bake and to ponder.

I lost a friend. Well, she was more like an acquaintance. A close acquaintance. She defriended me. I called myself hurt, then angry, then annoyed. Then I got over it. She took issue with the decisions I made for my family. Every decision. Every time. In reality, though, her biggest issue was that I had a family. By myself. She's a single mom, too. But it's nothing she would've chosen. She had a hard transition. And mine was just too simple. I was thinking about her: her words, her spitefulness, her problems.
My dog ran away. On a work day. As I was running late. She got out. She was picked up by the cops. They took her to doggy jail. They called me. They want more money than I have - or for me to go to court - to get her out. To me, that choice looks like: Feed my son or get my dog from the pound. Miss a day of work to get my dog from the pound or be able to pay my rent. So, for me, the choice is simple. But I miss her. And I was thinking about her: her spirit, her problems.

I decided that this past year was the roughest year of my life. And I would do it all again. I would change some things, if I could. Like my dad dying before my son was born. The timing of when I moved home. But, for the most part, every minute of it has been worth it. I love my life. Bills are overdue. Notices placed on doors. But I love it. I have an amazingly brilliant, sweetheart of a son. I wouldn't change a thing about his life. I have never in my life had so much fun. Sure, there's plenty of stress - more than enough to share. Sure, there's plenty of disappointments. But my son has made living a thrill.

Question is... do I want to share that thrill?????